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My Someone!

Letting go of our hurt and pain is hard to do in this life. Many of us will just burry it all so deep inside that we forget it is even there. Time passes and we become numb to our feelings in ways we cannot even explain. We long to speak but yet words flee from us. Our minds become so spaced out that we can never even begin to touch our own heart. This is why so many use alcohol, drugs, or even just longing for acceptance from anyone in anyway becomes a norm to people.

I lost my wife about two months ago and it has been hard at times to just do life. I know that my wife is with Jesus and that she is pain free now but it is still hard when you lost your someone. When my wife came back into my life after 17 years, I was so full of old pain and hurt. With my first wife I never let go of years of burying pain. I just kept piling it all higher never truly dealing with any of it. I would act as if it all disappeared but yet my drinking increased and I would use drugs off and on. When my first wife and I got divorced I was getting even deeper in meth use. I was spiraling out of control when God led my Dove into my life. Rhianna truly loved me when I could not even love myself. She saw through my pain and all my meth use as she truly saw the real me under it all. It was her love for me that knocked the stone off my heart and in turn this allowed all the things that Yahweh (God) was showing me over a four year period to finally sink in. Then after I truly gave my heart to the living God, through Hs Son Jesus, this opened my heart to love my wife in ways I never dreamed possible. In turn this love of God worked through me and led my wife too Jesus which led her to the love of the Father!

Ephesians 2:4-6

4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,

5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),

6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,

See the world claims to know love but in reality this love is always empty without the one who was the author. There would be no love at all if it were not for Yahweh (God) giving us love in the first place. Even when the world denies that love comes from God it does not change the fact that it does. The enemy of mankind wants us all to deny this truth and if someone were to take the time to truly look at the way love is depleted without God present then it would open their eyes. The truth is my wife’s love was so real for me and was being used by God to open my heart again so that I would turn my heart to Him. Then this saved my wife as well which has then spread to so many other people because of the love my wife and I have shared with so many other people. This is far from over as well because this love never dies, it only gets stronger with time. Every person alive needs their someone in life. Most the time people push their someone away though because we attempt to only love people for the way we want them to love us back and that is selfish love. Selfish love is what the world offers and selfless love is what the living God and His Son Jesus offer. You can’t love someone for someone they are not. You have to truly meet them and then know them for who they are not who you think you want them to be. Of course this is so hard to do most times these days because most of us have no clue who we truly are. We will lie to so many people for so long as we make an image of someone that is not even close to who we truly are. To find a person who can see through all your bullshit and see you for who you truly are is a blessing. This is exactly why my wife was my someone in my life. I have no idea where I would be without her. I know that God calls us to Himself through His Son Jesus and that you will never know how or who He will use too do it.

John 6:44

44 “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.

Each and every person in this world has acquired some kind of pain in life. Of course the younger people are the less they will have at times. Then depending on how one was raised will depend on the level of pain one acquires as well. In the end we all fall short and we all cause pain to someone else in some way, shape, or form.

Romans 3:21-31

21 But now apart from the Law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets,

22 even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction;

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

24 being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus;

25 whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed;

26 for the demonstration, I say, of His righteousness at the present time, so that He would be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

27 Where then is boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? Of works? No, but by a law of faith.

28 For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from works of the Law.

29 Or is God the God of Jews only? Is He not the God of Gentiles also? Yes, of Gentiles also,

30 since indeed God who will justify the circumcised by faith and the uncircumcised through faith is one.

31 Do we then nullify the Law through faith? May it never be! On the contrary, we establish the Law.

Every person alive is focused on what we can see and what we can see is truly here because of the one who gave it all to us in the first place. Therefore this is why God will use the love of people too break what we can see and allow it all to fall apart at times so that we will turn our hearts to that which we can’t see. It is in these moments that we can truly take time to be still, and then be silent, closing our eyes long enough to feel the embrace of the one we cannot see. Jesus gave his life so that all people could find this truth! Jesus gave His life so that in turn he would ultimately be that someone for everyone who will just open their hearts and believe. In the process of, Yahweh (God), the Father of all creation calling us to His Son, he will allow so many people to come and go in our lives. So that when we finally do break from all the pain we acquired in life we can allow our love to finally return to the one who gave it to us in the first place. I witness firsthand how people who acknowledge God and His Son Jesus are set apart from the world. Then I witness firsthand how people who do not acknowledge God and His Son are always riddled with fear, confusion, and misunderstanding. It is truly amazing how God wants to know you and know me personally. I got to witness this in my wife’s life as well and how this truth transformed her from the inside out! Several weeks ago I wrote a blog called

This is just one of many things that shows how deep the living God will get with us. It proves that He is present at all times and that it is only one’s heart that can reciprocate this love back to Him through His Son Jesus. Through this we can have all the peace we need no matter what this crazy world throws at us.

I have written so many blogs in the past 2-1/2 years and each one of them has such a deep purpose. Many of them I did not understand myself at the time I was told to write them but God is faithful to show us why when the time is right. I have asked Him why He took my wife home several times and this week it was clear that the why was never really even important! We are all appointed to death once in this life so the why can never really explain what the who will always explain. In the end it was my someone, my wife (my dove), that broke the stone on my heart through her love for me and this allowed the Father to finally call me too His Son. So this allowed the greatest someone of all time, Jesus, to truly come into my heart and change not just me but my someone who loved me as well. Today I ask all who read this to seek who that someone could be for you now? If you know that God has put someone in your life to love, them love them through it all and give them the selfless love they deserve. If you are fighting pain in your heart from lies you have hidden from someone you love then let go of it today. Ask Jesus to come into your heart so that you can be taught how to deal with you pain that is keeping you from being somebody’s someone! May Yahweh (God) bless you all and His Christ guide your hearts in the chaos ahead!

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